THOSE FUNNY WITNESSES
158, 2014 September)
websites about Jehovah's Witnesses are as serious as a blood
transfusion but "Jehovah's Witness Blog" (JWB) tries to amuse.
you are "Mr Single" at a JW convention. What chat-up lines might get a
"sister" interested and lead to a chaperoned date?
some from JWB:
I’m following Jesus’ command to become a fisher of men. You seem like a
If your baptism had been a wet t-shirt contest, you'd have won 1st
Why am I staring at you? I am keeping my eyes on the prize.
[Note: Keep Your Eyes on the Prize is the
title of a JW hymn.]
No, I wasn’t staring at your chest. I was reading your lapel badge.
I must be a member of the 144,000 'cause when I look at you I am in
has the "Diary of an Armageddon Survivor" which begins with:
Armageddon is over and I survived. I made my way down to the Kingdom
Hall this morning… A lot of brothers and sisters are still missing …
our presiding overseer, told us that those who were missing should have
spent more time in field service…
1975 millions now living have left the sect, and the leaders aren't
Although they state "Jehovah's Witnesses do not malign, slander or
harass expelled ones in any way" (Awake! 1983, November 8, p. 10),
speakers at JW conventions in Denmark in 2013 likened lapsed JWs to a
"deadly virus" and "snakes".
And The Watchtower recently called
them "mentally diseased", sparking a police investigation whether this
breached Britain's religious hatred laws.
The Watchtower says: "People are attracted to someone who uses
kind, tactful speech…" (2002 July 22 p. 14) but the above
sort of language hardly qualifies and probably would not make many
Therefore it may be a while before both sides reach agreement.
articles containing "accurate knowledge" and "flashes of light" on this