(Investigator 23, 1992 March)
You've decided you'd like to get married. Why not go about it the superstitious way?
you have to find
spouse. A girl finds this easier than a man because she will see her
mate in her dreams if she pins her garters to the wall and arranges her
shoes into a T-shaped pattern:
The engagement ring must be diamond, sapphire, emerald or ruby since these stones have good-fortune promoting properties. The girl must be careful not to lose the ring since such an event heralds quarrels, desertion and even death.
Of course the bride must be a virgin. This is because venereal disease is cured by intercourse with a virgin! If the bridegroom's got the "pox" he must make sure to get the "token of virginity".
It's unlucky to marry on Friday or Saturday. Pick your day carefully:
As regards the month of the wedding avoid rainy months: "Unhappy is the bride the rain falls on."
A stormy wedding day signifies a stormy marriage. Also June is lucky and May unlucky. Consider:
What should the bride wear? That's easy: "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue!" But she mustn't try any of it on before the wedding day. That would bring bad luck! The color of the bridal gown had better be correct too:
At the wedding the bride must cry or at least pretend! Otherwise her marriage will be full of tears. A wedding ring is necessary because turning it three times around on the finger brings luck. Also:
You'll need lots of confetti because confetti assures prosperity and fertility.
On the wedding night you'll both need an aphrodisiac. Crocodile eyes, the right testicle of an ass, and human brains have all been recommended. Make arrangements with your butcher.
After the honeymoon comes the worry of retaining your spouse's affection. An Irish method is for the woman to open a grave of someone buried for nine days, cut some skin off, tie the skin at night around the leg of her lover and remove it in the morning before he wakes up!
May wedded bliss
The above article shows that superstition is silly;
readers should not construe it as giving advice.
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