Certifiably genuine student bloopers from eighth grade through to college level
collected by teachers throughout the United States. Edited by Harry Edwards

Investigator 77, 2001 March

In the Olympic games, the Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Parisians had more men.

Investigator 78, 2001 May

Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Investigator 79, 2001 July

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns -- Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity," in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not  written by Homer but by another man of that  name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They  killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.